So all I do is beat myself up about how messy my bedroom is. I mean you should hear the things I say to myself. However in all my anger and bashing I have never stopped to make a plan on how to CHANGE my room. I know you think dirty room…clean it. It is not that simple because my room has become a monster; figuratively and literally speaking.
A physical monster in the sense that until this morning I couldn’t even see my floor (try not to judge me). Until two weeks ago the room was where my daughter slept but where my husband, daughter, and me all lived!!! We have clothes out the waaa-zoooooo! So between the clothes, shoes, jewelry, hats, ties, watches, and all the other doo-dads…it is a monster.
Figuratively it is a monster because I have let myself become afraid of the task in my mind. My room is like a big lurking thing at the end of the hall that I am scared to go into because I know what waits for me on the inside. Sad, but very true.
So what to do about the whole situation? I have to get a plan and then I need to implement it! That is the only way to defeat anything in life (monsters included). So this morning my goal was to see my bedroom floor…mission accomplised! Next I put all the clothes on the bed so that I could organize them into piles tonight. If I complete this mission I get a date night with my hubby, should I fail, I will spend my morning and evening catching up on my plan.
So the list goes on and on with positive and negative reinforcements that puts me at an end date of nexrt Tuesday (should I stay on track). Life really is full of monsters…financial, chores, work, anger, kids, marriage, dating…pretty much you name it and there is a monster attached to it. So my advice is to get a plan to defeat your monster…living in fear SUCKS!
( I will keep you all updated on my monster)
Lately I watch my family make plans and then watch them blow up in our faces. Perfectly laid out things seem to be going the right direction then all of a sudden make a sudden sharp turn without any warning. We’ve been handling it pretty good but it comes a point in time when you stop and say what’s going on? Why is this happening?
It seems like no matter how much you plan life is going to throw unexpected curves at you so what do you do then? Do you run? Do you cry? Do you bend to whatever way life wants you go? What do you do?
The right thing to say would be to have faith. To know that no matter what happens God is there and that he has a bigger and better plans for you. But sometimes when it gets bad it’s hard to remember that, so what can we do then? We have to look at the past. We have to look at the things we have already been through.
Sometimes it doesn’t help to try to think about the things that will come… you just need to focus on the things that have already been done. Then let that give you strength to move on. And we haven’t learned anything we’ve that history repeats itself. So if God hasn’t let you down yet he won’t let you down in the future.
So my answer is when the unexpected happens remember what is expected. God will be there. God will answer. God will see you through. And that’s something that you SHOULD expect.
Just look at your past…
I think one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn to date is the true definition of “pressing on”. It doesn’t mean to “just get through it”, at least not to me. When you say “just get through it” I feel like the person will come out on the other end with nothing. They will have not learned nor gained anything. All they can say is “I made it”. And for some people that is enough…I get that. Matter of fact I use to be one of those people. If I made it through then that was enough, but that started to leave me feeling empty. I didn’t feel like I was gaining anything from life just waking up from day to day. That’s when I started to dig deeper.
In digging deeper I was able to find what the meaning of “pressing on” meant to me. It meant going through something that may be uncomfortable, may hurt, or may even be devestating, but still being open to all of your feelings as you deal with the situation. If you are angry figure out why you are angry, or if you are sad try to find the root. Then go one step further if you know the answer (or find it) learn from it and let it make you better. As you “press” you will start to feel a change and a feeling of accomplishment. Why? Because when you “press” you are going to move something; simply by definition. You are moving obstacles, fear, sadness, anger right out of your system. That is what “pressing on” is about to me.
We all know life is not is easy and it is far from fair, but it will hand you the tools needed for you to find peace and joy if you use them correctly. Just something that has been on my mind.
Put enough PRESSure on coal and you get a diamond….so what are you made of?
Life can really get you down. It can make you feel like there is no hope and that no matter what you do your outcome will be negative. This feeling can lead to a feelining of lonliness, and in my opinion that is one of the most dangerous feelings that human beings can have. Lonliness can make people do , say, and want things that they normally would not. Yes it is a mind altering emotion and if you are not careful you can find yourself in a very lonely and dangerous place.
I recently found my sefl in a lonely place. I felt like I had no one to talk to and that no matter what I did that there was not going to be a positive outcome. See, the thing about that type of thinking is that it carries over into everything. It was in my marraige, work, relationships, and most of my self esteem. Eventually I was in a full on depression. So what saved me….my sister circle.
My sister circle is a group of GODLY women who I can trust to give me honesty, love, support, and christian advice. But the best part about this circle is that there is NO JUDGEMENT. We bring our problems here to the circle and we all pray and support each other. Most importantly we push each other to be the best that we can be BUT accept you for where you are.
There is no pettiness in my circle just love and admiration for each other, so in this post I encourage you to get some sisters (or brothers). Folk you can rely on when things aren’t peachy but will be there to lift a glass when they are. This is so key to life so I encourage to be PICKY…don’t just let people in to do it. Their actions should earn them a seat at the table!
Thank you to my sisters….
Thank you Kisha
Thank you Christina
Thank you Jordan
Thank you Chantelle
Thank you Keva
Thank you Nona
I love you and can’t imagine the world without you! Today I said names because today…it was personal and I needed you to know how much you mean to me.
Life is all about choices. I am one of those people that believe everything is driven by a persons individual choice. The funny thing about this is that some people seem to value their choices over everyone else s, and unfortunately that is not how the world works.
For example to make a choice to hit somebody in the face and they CHOOSE to call the police on you. For some odd reason when a person makes this choice people say they are “weak” or a “punk”, but personally I think they are exercising one of their choices. Maybe you should have analyzed yours (IE throwing a punch) before acting on it. This point goes for relationships too. You treat me like crap and then when I leave you, you want to act as if I have done the worst thing in the world. No, correction, I made a choice not to stay around and stand for behavior that I don’t approve of. Go ahead flip it now…what if you treat me great and I leave??? Still a choice, in your eyes maybe the wrong choice but it is still MY choice.
So what is all this to say? Make your choices for yourself and nobody else. If you want to love, love because that is what you feel. If you dislike something (I really try to keep from the word hate) make sure you dislike it because of your own experience and not off of somebody else’s. Honestly its the only way to live because I can guarantee you other people are going to make their choice…and not give two cents on how it affects you.
Now of course those who do think of others when making their choices have made a CHOICE not to be selfish and to place others before themselves. Still a choice none the less…you get my point?
So here it goes…
Yes I am a dance teacher. I am guessing that when I say that the reason most folks look at me like I am crazy is because I am not the normal “dancer” size. However, I have danced most of my life and have become a teacher in the later years. I use to feel very self conscious about this. I felt like people could never see my gift…just my size. So how do I deal with being a dancer down to my bones, but because I have more meat on those bones people automatically assume I have no talent?
I dance harder. I work harder. I practice more. I make sure that every time I step out to dance I leave my life on the floor. When I dance I am free and I make sure that anyone watching knows that.
To all the “big” girls out there that can dance…show them! Show them that size is not everything but talent and heart…mean EVERY THING!
Like I tell my dancers…you wanna dance with me? Then be prepared to give me your life!
So now that I work in DC I remember why college was so hard. It was the fact that every element of the weather seems WORSE in the city! I went to Howard University and I swear if it was just cold in the burbs, it was freezing in the city. So now that is is hot in the burbs, it is jive BLAZING in the city!
That means three things:
- I will have a headache from now until fall…fact of life I am learning to accept
- There will be some crazy sights walking around here…(it has already started girl walked in front of the car in a shirt/dress…wind blew nothing but thong looking at me)
- I will see some of the most unique ways to stay cool
So no I am not looking forward to the heat, sweat, the constant “sun-face” frown, or the frizzing of my locs from the humidity…BUT I am looking forward to the activities that let you know that there is still LIFE among us. Summer smiles are the best!!!
Stay cool yall